I had no idea who Natalie Grant was for a long time. I ended up getting her CD from my mother in law for Christmas one year and stuck the CD in the storage area of the stereo and forgot about it.
One day, I was looking for something to listen to and came across the unopened CD. We were getting into leading worship at church and I was trying to find some inspiration for some new songs. So I opened the case and popped the CD in. The first song was Awaken and it was okay, I went through, listening for the song I was looking for. I listened some more and they were decent songs, catchy enough, but one song struck me. The words were powerful. The Real Me. It hit me that this is me. I have always hid behind my skin and didn't let the world in because too many times I had gotten hurt. This song reminded me that God always knows the real me, even if the real me isn't out there for everyone to see. As you know, I am introverted. If I see you out at a restaurant or something, I will probably not come up to you and talk to you, even if I know you very well and we are good friends. I always wait for you to come to me. I am not being a snob, just being me. A lot of people dont' give me a chance because I have a wall built up around me. So they automatically assume I am the biggest snob on earth and never try to break down the wall and get to know me. The one thing you do want to know about me is this, while I may be shy and introverted, I am not ever going to sugar coat things. If you ask me a question, I will answer honestly, even if that hurts your feelings. I was taught as a kid that you stand up for your beliefs and you always tell the truth, no matter what the consequences are. If someone asks you for your opinion, you tell them the truth. I am not always right, but I will give my opinion on the matter and move on. Even if I know the opinion differs from yours. Some have learned that the hard way, and I have lost friends that way, but to me, the truth is it.
The words to this song tell a story and it paints a picture of how a lot of us, (probably more than a lot, probably everyone at some point in time in our lives) hide behind a mask. We don't go out in the world and act like our true selves.
The Real Me
Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile, don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break?
How much will they take before I'm empty?
Do I let it show, does anybody know?
But you see, the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me, completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self inflicted circus clown
Tired of this song and dance
Living a charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now, still I see you somehow
That you see, the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask, my frailty
Oh cause you see, the real me
Wonderful, beautiful
Is what you see when you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into a perfect tapestry
Oh I just wanna be me.
I wanna be me.
Cause you see, the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp,
There's no need to mask my frailty,
Oh cause you see the real me.
And you love me,
Just as I am
Wonderful beautiful
Is what you see,
When you look at me.
So when you run into me somewhere, say hello, if you want to. I will always say hello back to you. :)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Random Thoughts...
I am sitting here, it is 1:30 in the afternoon and I have a million thoughts running through my head.
1. I drove by our new house we are having built. They are putting the windows in, and then I expect tomorrow, they will be starting the roof. It has gone by so quickly, even though a few weeks ago, it seemed like it was taking forever. In just about 10 weeks, we will be homeowners again. It has been 8 years since we lost our house in Sheridan. The mold caused the problem and it was far too much to fix. So we lost it. Thinking we would never get another house of our own, we resigned to just being renters for a long time. We checked it out a few times, only to be told we needed to get credit cards to get our credit score up to where they wanted it. We said no to credit cards and just assumed we would never get in a house. As a realtor, it is a dream to own your own home. That's my job and when I was helping others buy a home, I felt a little hole inside my heart because I knew I couldn't. It hurt. But that's why I went into real estate, one, I love and have a passion for houses and helping people buy a home. Two, I didn't want someone else to go through what we went through with our first house.
2. I was driving down the road and thought I saw someone I know. Someone that I thought was a friend, but they showed their true colors and caused me a lot of sadness and hurt. I haven't seen or heard from this person since this all went down about 6 months ago, nor do I care to. We moved on and they have moved on and that is fine. I don't wish them ill will or anything, but I don't want to hang out either. My stomach did flips when I saw their car, but after getting a little closer, I found out it wasn't that particular person. I was relieved, and felt a little silly that the thought of seeing this person would cause me such anxiety. Being an introvert, it is hard enough to trust people to get to know me, the real me, and become friends with someone. But, when someone hurts me, I become a mute and hide in my shell. Building up the wall, adding another layer of bricks to try to make it inpenetrable. I forgive, but it is hard to forget when someone hurts you. So, I try to just avoid these people and move on.
3. My son just got his schedule set up for 9th grade. When did this happen?? When did he become a young adult? It seems to have happened right before my eyes and I just didn't pay attention. He is going to turn 14 in May. It doesn't seem like that much time has passed. In four years, my son will be graduating high school and going to college. I am thankful that I have such a wonderful son. God gave me this great kid to raise. He is doing marching band this summer, which Shane and I are very excited about. When he was very young, we decided to let him make his own decisions about extracurricular activities. He could try whatever sport or activity he wanted and make his own decisions about it. He played baseball, basketball, football, karate, but he never fond his competitive side. He loves art and music. He has always like music, but the last few years, he has found his musical side. He came home in 5th grade and announced that he was going to join band, which surprised us, because he was vehemently against band previously. But he starting playing the tuba and enjoyed it and is pretty good at it. He is talented in art as well and I love to see his art when he is done with it and brings it to me. His art teachers have always said he has a natural talent in art. His band teachers have told us he has a natural ability in music as well. I couldn't be more excited about this. I think it is wonderful that he has found his niche. I think he will enjoy marching band a lot, just like Shane and I did. He has decided to go to school to be an archaeologist or a biblical historian. I am so proud.
4. We have been going to College Park Church since September. We love the pastor, we love the sermons, we love the environment there. I hope that this fall, Cameron can get involved in the youth program. He is introverted, like me, and has a hard time getting involved in things. He gets so nervous before, but once he gets into it, he loves it. I just have a hard time getting him to go that first time. I was going to join the bells and choir, but if you keep reading, you will understand why that will be hard. We love the music. Eric, the worship leader, is exactly like our old church's worship leaders. They would mix in some contemporary music with hymns and made it enjoyable for all. Eric is like that and we love the music! Sometimes, when a song starts, Shane and I will look at each other and tears will sometimes glisten in our eyes as we remember singing the same song while we were leading worship. We love it there. Pastor Mark is so good at preaching. I love to listen to his sermons.
5. Here's the reason why I am not going to join bells or choir at this point in time. Shane is changing positions at his company. He will be starting March 1. He will be going into sales, and be leaving for the week to travel to different states in his territory and meeting with the dealers. He will be gone Monday through Friday and have the weekends off. I am actually looking forward to this. Not because I want him to be gone, but because the weekends will be free from texts, phone calls, having to run to the office to do work, etc. we will be able to have dinner with my family or his family or with friends without interruption. He is excited as well for the opportunity to get away from the office and not have all the stress from there. He is so stressed right now and it wears him down. So, he will be going on the road to his 11 state territory and Cameron and I will be here. But, when there are breaks from school, we may go with Shane and hang out with him that week. Originally, we thought about homeschooling so we could go with him more, but I think that will not work out after all. I think Cameron needs the time away from me during the day, especially if it just him and I during the week. I am looking forward to moving into our house so there will be yardwork to keep Cam and I busy, and I will have my front porch to sit on and read in the evenings when it warm, the patio in the backyard to sit down and look around. There are flowers to be planted, a raised bed garden to work in, weeds to pull, grass to mow and water, rooms to paint.....it will be nice to have something to keep us busy! And of course, I will be getting back into my real estate career as well with a new company, so I am very excited to help people buy a home.
So many things changing in our lives. It is a little scary and a lot exciting. I guess 2011 is really the year for the Frye's. New house, new jobs, new church. Very exciting! :)
1. I drove by our new house we are having built. They are putting the windows in, and then I expect tomorrow, they will be starting the roof. It has gone by so quickly, even though a few weeks ago, it seemed like it was taking forever. In just about 10 weeks, we will be homeowners again. It has been 8 years since we lost our house in Sheridan. The mold caused the problem and it was far too much to fix. So we lost it. Thinking we would never get another house of our own, we resigned to just being renters for a long time. We checked it out a few times, only to be told we needed to get credit cards to get our credit score up to where they wanted it. We said no to credit cards and just assumed we would never get in a house. As a realtor, it is a dream to own your own home. That's my job and when I was helping others buy a home, I felt a little hole inside my heart because I knew I couldn't. It hurt. But that's why I went into real estate, one, I love and have a passion for houses and helping people buy a home. Two, I didn't want someone else to go through what we went through with our first house.
2. I was driving down the road and thought I saw someone I know. Someone that I thought was a friend, but they showed their true colors and caused me a lot of sadness and hurt. I haven't seen or heard from this person since this all went down about 6 months ago, nor do I care to. We moved on and they have moved on and that is fine. I don't wish them ill will or anything, but I don't want to hang out either. My stomach did flips when I saw their car, but after getting a little closer, I found out it wasn't that particular person. I was relieved, and felt a little silly that the thought of seeing this person would cause me such anxiety. Being an introvert, it is hard enough to trust people to get to know me, the real me, and become friends with someone. But, when someone hurts me, I become a mute and hide in my shell. Building up the wall, adding another layer of bricks to try to make it inpenetrable. I forgive, but it is hard to forget when someone hurts you. So, I try to just avoid these people and move on.
3. My son just got his schedule set up for 9th grade. When did this happen?? When did he become a young adult? It seems to have happened right before my eyes and I just didn't pay attention. He is going to turn 14 in May. It doesn't seem like that much time has passed. In four years, my son will be graduating high school and going to college. I am thankful that I have such a wonderful son. God gave me this great kid to raise. He is doing marching band this summer, which Shane and I are very excited about. When he was very young, we decided to let him make his own decisions about extracurricular activities. He could try whatever sport or activity he wanted and make his own decisions about it. He played baseball, basketball, football, karate, but he never fond his competitive side. He loves art and music. He has always like music, but the last few years, he has found his musical side. He came home in 5th grade and announced that he was going to join band, which surprised us, because he was vehemently against band previously. But he starting playing the tuba and enjoyed it and is pretty good at it. He is talented in art as well and I love to see his art when he is done with it and brings it to me. His art teachers have always said he has a natural talent in art. His band teachers have told us he has a natural ability in music as well. I couldn't be more excited about this. I think it is wonderful that he has found his niche. I think he will enjoy marching band a lot, just like Shane and I did. He has decided to go to school to be an archaeologist or a biblical historian. I am so proud.
4. We have been going to College Park Church since September. We love the pastor, we love the sermons, we love the environment there. I hope that this fall, Cameron can get involved in the youth program. He is introverted, like me, and has a hard time getting involved in things. He gets so nervous before, but once he gets into it, he loves it. I just have a hard time getting him to go that first time. I was going to join the bells and choir, but if you keep reading, you will understand why that will be hard. We love the music. Eric, the worship leader, is exactly like our old church's worship leaders. They would mix in some contemporary music with hymns and made it enjoyable for all. Eric is like that and we love the music! Sometimes, when a song starts, Shane and I will look at each other and tears will sometimes glisten in our eyes as we remember singing the same song while we were leading worship. We love it there. Pastor Mark is so good at preaching. I love to listen to his sermons.
5. Here's the reason why I am not going to join bells or choir at this point in time. Shane is changing positions at his company. He will be starting March 1. He will be going into sales, and be leaving for the week to travel to different states in his territory and meeting with the dealers. He will be gone Monday through Friday and have the weekends off. I am actually looking forward to this. Not because I want him to be gone, but because the weekends will be free from texts, phone calls, having to run to the office to do work, etc. we will be able to have dinner with my family or his family or with friends without interruption. He is excited as well for the opportunity to get away from the office and not have all the stress from there. He is so stressed right now and it wears him down. So, he will be going on the road to his 11 state territory and Cameron and I will be here. But, when there are breaks from school, we may go with Shane and hang out with him that week. Originally, we thought about homeschooling so we could go with him more, but I think that will not work out after all. I think Cameron needs the time away from me during the day, especially if it just him and I during the week. I am looking forward to moving into our house so there will be yardwork to keep Cam and I busy, and I will have my front porch to sit on and read in the evenings when it warm, the patio in the backyard to sit down and look around. There are flowers to be planted, a raised bed garden to work in, weeds to pull, grass to mow and water, rooms to paint.....it will be nice to have something to keep us busy! And of course, I will be getting back into my real estate career as well with a new company, so I am very excited to help people buy a home.
So many things changing in our lives. It is a little scary and a lot exciting. I guess 2011 is really the year for the Frye's. New house, new jobs, new church. Very exciting! :)
Friday, January 21, 2011
Does Anybody Hear Her?
This song is by far my favorite Casting Crowns song. It is the first CC song I heard and I fell in love. It speaks so loudly to me. I was that girl that was running the wrong direction, being judged, hurting. People looked down at me like they were better than me. It hurt.
She is running, 100 MPH, in the wrong direction
She is trying but the canyon's ever widening,
In the depths of her cold heart.
So she sets on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older and she's three more steps behind.
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Oh does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
She is yearning for shelter and affection that she never found at home
She is searching for a hero to ride in, to ride in and save the day
And in walks her Prince Charming and he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason and she gives herself away.
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Oh does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple,
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
Never even met her!
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Oh does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
He is running, 100MPH, in the wrong direction....
So next time you see that girl, or that guy walk into your church or your youth group, don't them for their walk of life at that time. They may have made a mistake, and wants to turn to Jesus for forgiveness, or perhaps they are looking for the reason for that still small voice they hear inside their heart, or maybe they are just needing someone to turn to for help. Don't stick your nose up at them and assume they are bad. Envelop them with the kind of love that Jesus would give them. I know when I was 17, pregnant and scared, I needed people to love me and accept me, but instead I was ridiculed, called names and turned away from. Don't hide in your church and pretend that those people don't exist. Love them. Love them like Jesus.
She is running, 100 MPH, in the wrong direction
She is trying but the canyon's ever widening,
In the depths of her cold heart.
So she sets on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older and she's three more steps behind.
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Oh does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
She is yearning for shelter and affection that she never found at home
She is searching for a hero to ride in, to ride in and save the day
And in walks her Prince Charming and he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason and she gives herself away.
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Oh does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple,
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we've never even met her
Never even met her!
Does anybody hear her?
Can anybody see?
Oh does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple with all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her?
Does anybody see?
He is running, 100MPH, in the wrong direction....
So next time you see that girl, or that guy walk into your church or your youth group, don't them for their walk of life at that time. They may have made a mistake, and wants to turn to Jesus for forgiveness, or perhaps they are looking for the reason for that still small voice they hear inside their heart, or maybe they are just needing someone to turn to for help. Don't stick your nose up at them and assume they are bad. Envelop them with the kind of love that Jesus would give them. I know when I was 17, pregnant and scared, I needed people to love me and accept me, but instead I was ridiculed, called names and turned away from. Don't hide in your church and pretend that those people don't exist. Love them. Love them like Jesus.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
On The Road...
It's almost 11pm on a snowy, windy Thursday night. I am still up, the house is quiet, dark, Cameron is asleep. Did I mention I am home alone?
Shane accepted a postition within his company as a sales director for an 11 state territory. It hasn't started yet, won't until March 1, but having to go to Louisville, KY to help finish a job his guys started has been a good test as to how well this is going to work. It's not so bad, since for the last 2 1/2 years I have very rarely seen my husband in the evenings, only to have him come home late, and end up asleep on the couch before anyone else even thinks about going to bed. I am used to nonstop phone calls on the weekends, disrupting every opportunity of family time, or having lunch together with people, or going somewhere. Always worrying about whether we will have to make a run to Morristown to get something someone left behind, or make a copy of a paper for someone, or just to go in and get some work that needs to get done. It has been hard. This new position will take him away from home for the week, but home on Friday afternoons and all weekend. No phone calls 24/7. No weekends at the office. The only thing is he is going to be out of the state for the week. But, on breaks from school, we will be able to hop in the car with him and head to different states with him. It will be boring for Cameron and I, but it will mean family time in the car traveling together. I can handle that.
Sleeping by myself in my bed is hard. I am a cold natured person already and Shane is my wall of heat. He snuggles up with me and keeps me warm. Now I will go to bed in a cold empty bed, fending for myself on the warmth. I will make due and will make it work. There are so many positive things about this position, with only a small amount of negative things. I think it will mean more quality time together in the end, because his weekends will be stress free and he will be 100% with us. Not worrying about jobs that are scheduled for the next week, etc.
Our house is coming along finally! They started framing it today! It is getting so close, I can feel it! I am so excited I can't wait! once we move, it will be easier to not worry about Shane on the road, because I will be busy decorating, going to the real estate office to work some days, painting, sitting on my front porch, sipping peppermint tea and reading a good book in the evenings, getting the firepit ready for the weekends, grilling out, meeting our new neighbors. The list goes on and on. If Cameron joins the marching band this summer, I will be busy taking him to practices, picking him up, getting him here and there. I think during the summer, we will go with Shane about once a month. During the school year, it will be only on breaks from school.
So many things change. So quickly things change. I praise God for allowing Shane to have this opportunity to get out from behind the desk and have less stress at his job. I praise God for all the wonderful things in our lives. He is so good to us and we are so undeserving.
Shane accepted a postition within his company as a sales director for an 11 state territory. It hasn't started yet, won't until March 1, but having to go to Louisville, KY to help finish a job his guys started has been a good test as to how well this is going to work. It's not so bad, since for the last 2 1/2 years I have very rarely seen my husband in the evenings, only to have him come home late, and end up asleep on the couch before anyone else even thinks about going to bed. I am used to nonstop phone calls on the weekends, disrupting every opportunity of family time, or having lunch together with people, or going somewhere. Always worrying about whether we will have to make a run to Morristown to get something someone left behind, or make a copy of a paper for someone, or just to go in and get some work that needs to get done. It has been hard. This new position will take him away from home for the week, but home on Friday afternoons and all weekend. No phone calls 24/7. No weekends at the office. The only thing is he is going to be out of the state for the week. But, on breaks from school, we will be able to hop in the car with him and head to different states with him. It will be boring for Cameron and I, but it will mean family time in the car traveling together. I can handle that.
Sleeping by myself in my bed is hard. I am a cold natured person already and Shane is my wall of heat. He snuggles up with me and keeps me warm. Now I will go to bed in a cold empty bed, fending for myself on the warmth. I will make due and will make it work. There are so many positive things about this position, with only a small amount of negative things. I think it will mean more quality time together in the end, because his weekends will be stress free and he will be 100% with us. Not worrying about jobs that are scheduled for the next week, etc.
Our house is coming along finally! They started framing it today! It is getting so close, I can feel it! I am so excited I can't wait! once we move, it will be easier to not worry about Shane on the road, because I will be busy decorating, going to the real estate office to work some days, painting, sitting on my front porch, sipping peppermint tea and reading a good book in the evenings, getting the firepit ready for the weekends, grilling out, meeting our new neighbors. The list goes on and on. If Cameron joins the marching band this summer, I will be busy taking him to practices, picking him up, getting him here and there. I think during the summer, we will go with Shane about once a month. During the school year, it will be only on breaks from school.
So many things change. So quickly things change. I praise God for allowing Shane to have this opportunity to get out from behind the desk and have less stress at his job. I praise God for all the wonderful things in our lives. He is so good to us and we are so undeserving.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
14 years ago.
The snow had fallen all night, the snow emergencies were out. Blizzard warnings were posted. Shane's car was still stuck in the drift down the road from the night before trying to get to the rehearsal dinner. Some people couldn't come to the wedding because of the weather. The church was out in the country and the roads were barely plowed. My dad's truck barely made it through. My hair was done, my maid of honor was in the truck with us and we went on our slick, snow covered way to the church. I was 5 months pregnant, nervous and scared, excited but anxious. Food was being prepared, cake was being delivered, all was in place.
The reason we got married in the middle of the winter was because I wanted us to be married as close to the one year mark as possible. We started dating the year before on January 12th. But that was a Sunday, so we settled for the 11th. I didn't want to wait until after Cameron was born, I wanted to be married before.
I walked into the church and looked into the sanctuary. Flowers were set, photographer was there to take pictures. Cake was downstairs in the basement along with sandwiches and other food that was ready to be served. It was all surreal. I was only 17 years old, pregnant and scared to death. I knew what I was getting into, but it still scared me a little.
As I stood outside the sanctuary doors with my dad, I heard the song being sung and then the music started. I made my way down the aisle with my daddy. He looked at me with tears in his eyes as we walked towards Shane. As dad gave me away to Shane, I saw my soon to be father in law standing there preparing to marry us, kleenex in hand, tears in his eyes. With all the snow, the aisles were full and there were people standing in the back. I remember nothing about the ceremony except that the unity candle wouldn't light and I started crying because I thought it meant that our marriage wouldn't never last. I laugh now. After the ceremony we went downstairs and celebrated.
I sit here 14 years later and look back on that day. Our lives began then, but they only got stronger the longer we have been together. God sent me Shane. I believe He sends someone for every person out there. Shane is my soulmate and I was so lucky to find him as young as I did. I wouldn't go back and change a thing. I am so glad I married him and had Cameron. My life began then. We may have been young and clueless, but we have grown up together and I think raised a pretty great kid.
Thank you God, for leading me to my soulmate and giving us our son. May our love grow stronger every day for each other. My heart swells with love.
The reason we got married in the middle of the winter was because I wanted us to be married as close to the one year mark as possible. We started dating the year before on January 12th. But that was a Sunday, so we settled for the 11th. I didn't want to wait until after Cameron was born, I wanted to be married before.
I walked into the church and looked into the sanctuary. Flowers were set, photographer was there to take pictures. Cake was downstairs in the basement along with sandwiches and other food that was ready to be served. It was all surreal. I was only 17 years old, pregnant and scared to death. I knew what I was getting into, but it still scared me a little.
As I stood outside the sanctuary doors with my dad, I heard the song being sung and then the music started. I made my way down the aisle with my daddy. He looked at me with tears in his eyes as we walked towards Shane. As dad gave me away to Shane, I saw my soon to be father in law standing there preparing to marry us, kleenex in hand, tears in his eyes. With all the snow, the aisles were full and there were people standing in the back. I remember nothing about the ceremony except that the unity candle wouldn't light and I started crying because I thought it meant that our marriage wouldn't never last. I laugh now. After the ceremony we went downstairs and celebrated.
I sit here 14 years later and look back on that day. Our lives began then, but they only got stronger the longer we have been together. God sent me Shane. I believe He sends someone for every person out there. Shane is my soulmate and I was so lucky to find him as young as I did. I wouldn't go back and change a thing. I am so glad I married him and had Cameron. My life began then. We may have been young and clueless, but we have grown up together and I think raised a pretty great kid.
Thank you God, for leading me to my soulmate and giving us our son. May our love grow stronger every day for each other. My heart swells with love.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
New Opportunities.
Shane and I made a decision a while back to take on leading Sunday School worship. At the time, it seemed like a great idea, but the amount of work didn't after we got into it. So we politely withdrew ourselves from that.
Tuesday, I start handbells. Oh how I have missed playing bells. I was the director of the bells at our old church and loved it so much, but I missed actually playing. Directing is okay, but playing is so much more fun to me. Shane used to play bells too, but he isn't going to be involved this time. I decided I can do this by myself and put myself out there. I usually am behind in the shadow of Shane when we get involved in things, and that is perfectly fine with me. But he doesn't have the time to do anything right now, so it is just me, by myself.
I can honestly say there is a little bit of fear inside me as I think of going to this huge church by myself on Tuesday nights and spending time with these people whom I have never met. I know it will be fine and I will probably make some nice friends, but the first time will be hard for me.
We have both talked about getting involved with the choir as well, but I don't know that Shane will be able to do that either with his schedule and the possibilities of his job changing sometime soon. So I am on my own again. Not sure if I want to get that involved right now, I think I may start small, going to bells and doing that for the Easter season, then see where we are at and go from there.
I can't wait for bells on Tuesday, but I can. I am very nervous but excited. We never know what the future will hold....we just go with it and see what God is going to do!!
Tuesday, I start handbells. Oh how I have missed playing bells. I was the director of the bells at our old church and loved it so much, but I missed actually playing. Directing is okay, but playing is so much more fun to me. Shane used to play bells too, but he isn't going to be involved this time. I decided I can do this by myself and put myself out there. I usually am behind in the shadow of Shane when we get involved in things, and that is perfectly fine with me. But he doesn't have the time to do anything right now, so it is just me, by myself.
I can honestly say there is a little bit of fear inside me as I think of going to this huge church by myself on Tuesday nights and spending time with these people whom I have never met. I know it will be fine and I will probably make some nice friends, but the first time will be hard for me.
We have both talked about getting involved with the choir as well, but I don't know that Shane will be able to do that either with his schedule and the possibilities of his job changing sometime soon. So I am on my own again. Not sure if I want to get that involved right now, I think I may start small, going to bells and doing that for the Easter season, then see where we are at and go from there.
I can't wait for bells on Tuesday, but I can. I am very nervous but excited. We never know what the future will hold....we just go with it and see what God is going to do!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
The Melting Pot = Delicious!
Yum!!
Shane and I went to The Melting Pot tonight for dinner. I was hesitant because I am not one of those types of people that will eat just anything. I am extremely picky eater and tend to shy away from places that forces me to try something new. But, because it was a special occasion, I went with it and made the reservation. It was a great choice!
We had the fiesta cheese fondue and it was pretty tasty, and I had a caesar salad and it was fantastic! We had different meats and the caribbean oil to cook the meat in and it was great. But the best thing was the teriyaki glaze that they give you to dip your meat in. YUM!! I actually splurged and bought a bottle because it was that good. Dessert was a definite highlight as well. We had a chocolate turtle flambe'. It had milk chocolate, caramel and pecans and they flambeed' it. It was delicious!!!!!
All in all, it was wonderful night, where Shane and I got to get away and do something nice by ourselves and love on each other. With the busyness of life, sometimes you forget to make special time for each other, and while we are very close and amke time for each other, we tend to not get away and do special things like this very often. It was definitely a great date and I look forward to spending many many more with him. He is the love of my life. <3
Shane and I went to The Melting Pot tonight for dinner. I was hesitant because I am not one of those types of people that will eat just anything. I am extremely picky eater and tend to shy away from places that forces me to try something new. But, because it was a special occasion, I went with it and made the reservation. It was a great choice!
We had the fiesta cheese fondue and it was pretty tasty, and I had a caesar salad and it was fantastic! We had different meats and the caribbean oil to cook the meat in and it was great. But the best thing was the teriyaki glaze that they give you to dip your meat in. YUM!! I actually splurged and bought a bottle because it was that good. Dessert was a definite highlight as well. We had a chocolate turtle flambe'. It had milk chocolate, caramel and pecans and they flambeed' it. It was delicious!!!!!
All in all, it was wonderful night, where Shane and I got to get away and do something nice by ourselves and love on each other. With the busyness of life, sometimes you forget to make special time for each other, and while we are very close and amke time for each other, we tend to not get away and do special things like this very often. It was definitely a great date and I look forward to spending many many more with him. He is the love of my life. <3
Thursday, January 6, 2011
14 years.......already?
Tuesday, January 11th is our anniversary.
14 years married. Wow. Obviously, the longest relationship either of us have ever been in.
We dated for one year before we got married. So technically, we have been together for 15 years. That's almost half my life!!
Our married relationship started off rocky. We had no money, I was 5 months pregnant and we lived with my parents and grandparents. Not so exciting for a newlywed young married couple.
We have made many mistakes and fought and screamed and gotten angry with each other. But all in all, we have a wonderful relationship. It was hard the first few years, but later on in our relationship as we got older and wiser and grew up a little, it was much easier to compromise and work together on our marriage.
The older we get, the more we learn about each other.
Tomorrow we are going out for our anniversary. Last year we went to Doubletree Suites where we went on our wedding night. This year, we are going out to a nice dinner at the Melting Pot, where they will have a table waiting for us that has a card with our anniversary on it. Romantic, huh? The we are going to the fashion mall and walk around and then head home. I am a total hopeless romantic. I am like Noah in The Notebook. Complete romantic.
So, January 11, Shane and I will celebrate 14 years of blissful married life.
Happy Aniversary Shane, I love you more than words can express.......
14 years married. Wow. Obviously, the longest relationship either of us have ever been in.
We dated for one year before we got married. So technically, we have been together for 15 years. That's almost half my life!!
Our married relationship started off rocky. We had no money, I was 5 months pregnant and we lived with my parents and grandparents. Not so exciting for a newlywed young married couple.
We have made many mistakes and fought and screamed and gotten angry with each other. But all in all, we have a wonderful relationship. It was hard the first few years, but later on in our relationship as we got older and wiser and grew up a little, it was much easier to compromise and work together on our marriage.
The older we get, the more we learn about each other.
Tomorrow we are going out for our anniversary. Last year we went to Doubletree Suites where we went on our wedding night. This year, we are going out to a nice dinner at the Melting Pot, where they will have a table waiting for us that has a card with our anniversary on it. Romantic, huh? The we are going to the fashion mall and walk around and then head home. I am a total hopeless romantic. I am like Noah in The Notebook. Complete romantic.
So, January 11, Shane and I will celebrate 14 years of blissful married life.
Happy Aniversary Shane, I love you more than words can express.......
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
2011: The Year Of A New..... Me....??
I spent 2010 basically wondering what the heck was going on!
Our church was in crisis, our world was turned upside down and we thought it was bad. Shane got a promotion at work and his crazy hours went from bad to worse. We left our church, came back, then left again. We found a new church home. We got two new nieces within a month of each other. Times were a changing.
As I sit here this evening, it is coming up on 10pm and I am reflecting on the last year's troubles and joys. Sometimes we look back on the last year and realize that God does everything for a reason. Taking us out of the comfort zone at our church and turning the world upside down for us, and then putting people in place that would challenge us. Inevitably, causing us to leave our home. The first time we left, we didn't feel confident as to where God was leading us and ended up right back where we started, back to home, where it was comfortable. But, it wasn't comfortable. It was hard and hurtful and feelings got hurt in the process. So we really felt like God was telling us this isn't where our home is anymore. We visited College Park with my in laws and fell in love with the music and the sermons. Crosses are all around you, Jesus is mentioned on everyone's tongues. It is established and home to Shane's family, and it was fitting that it has become home to us as well. Mark, the Pastor, is a wonderful Pastor, he has wonderful sermons saturated with scripture and challenges us every week to be better Christians. We sing some contemporary songs, as well as some old hymns. It is a wonderful balance for everyone there. I see people that are young enjoying the music and I see very old people swaying to the hymns, but all in all, it is balanced. I feel like there are so many churches out there, some that we have visited, that tend to try and pull the younger population in by "secularizing" (this may be a made up word...not sure) their services. Loud music, rockin' out to more secular songs, sputtering "sermons" that you just need to feel good about yourself for being at church and not throw too much Jesus talk in there, so as to not offend some people. I am sorry, but to me, that is not church. Taking all the crosses out of sight, not really talking about Jesus, taking all religion out of the whole "church" experience doesn't sit well with me. I want to go to church and listen to a flowing sermon full of scriptures, speak to me about Jesus, who He was, who He is and who we want to emulate. Don't teach the children to persevere or how to love one another, teach them bible stories and have VBS and let them hear the stories of the bible that could influence their life someday. I yearn for that type of church experience and have found it. Have handbells ringing in the welcome area as you come to Christmas service and have the full choir up there singing praise to the Holy God and the resurrected Christ on Easter. Don't take all those things out of our churches, because while you may be trying to pull in the non-believers, you are inevitably shooing away and spitting in the face of the believers that have called these churches home for many years. It has to stop!
Sorry for my soapbox ramblings, I am getting tired and when that happens, I tend to go off on tangents.
This is a year for change in our family. We are at a new church, and starting to get involved. We are building a house and closing sometime in April, we are seriously contemplating pulling Cameron out of public school to go to either Christian Prep HS or homeschool online through a Christian based homeschool. Shane is looking at changing jobs at some point, I am finally getting back into my own career in real estate. We are getting serious about our health and focusing on our exercise and healthy living. Mentally, I had to go through and delete people in my life that either are not my true friends, or have shunned me for some reason or another. I have to delete the poisonous toxic people that rot my mind and spew forth their garbage in my life. I have no time to deal with people and their drama, nor do I want to take part in it or be reminded of it day in and day out. I have wiped most of the people we used to attend church with. I have to fully cut ties or else be reminded of the fact that we can't go back to the way things were. I kept only those people who have made it known that they truly care about me and my family. Acquaintences went away. I may be called immature or childish behind my back, but that is fine. I don't have anything to be ashamed of. I am not running away, I am stepping forward into the light and letting God tell me where He wants me to go.
My goal for this year, is to pray harder, and more often. To focus on God more. To get my spiritual life back to where it was over a year ago. The tears have dried and the future is upon us, so it is time to step out of the darkness and let God back in in full force! Praise be to God for all things in this world and for giving me a renewed spirit in Him. I pray for all my fellow Christians out there that have been in the darkness in the last year and for the ones that have had a renewal of spirit in the last year. I pray that God will heal you of your sorrows, and that you will praise Him in good times. Pray hard and pray often. Pray for your pastor and his family. Pray for your coworkers and boss. Pray for your country and the people running it. PRAY PRAY PRAY!
Let me close my blog tonight by saying this: Please remember that this is my personal blog, and I openly share these thoughts with you. If you don't like what I have said, please know that these opinions are just that: opinions. I gladly hear other people's opinions on their blogs and whether or not I agree doesn't matter. What matters is that we all are different and we all have opinions and this being my blog, it is my opinion that gets posted here. Feel free to comment if you want to tell me your thoughts. I have no problem sharing my feelings if you want to discuss.
Happy 2011 everyone! May God guide your heart this year.
Our church was in crisis, our world was turned upside down and we thought it was bad. Shane got a promotion at work and his crazy hours went from bad to worse. We left our church, came back, then left again. We found a new church home. We got two new nieces within a month of each other. Times were a changing.
As I sit here this evening, it is coming up on 10pm and I am reflecting on the last year's troubles and joys. Sometimes we look back on the last year and realize that God does everything for a reason. Taking us out of the comfort zone at our church and turning the world upside down for us, and then putting people in place that would challenge us. Inevitably, causing us to leave our home. The first time we left, we didn't feel confident as to where God was leading us and ended up right back where we started, back to home, where it was comfortable. But, it wasn't comfortable. It was hard and hurtful and feelings got hurt in the process. So we really felt like God was telling us this isn't where our home is anymore. We visited College Park with my in laws and fell in love with the music and the sermons. Crosses are all around you, Jesus is mentioned on everyone's tongues. It is established and home to Shane's family, and it was fitting that it has become home to us as well. Mark, the Pastor, is a wonderful Pastor, he has wonderful sermons saturated with scripture and challenges us every week to be better Christians. We sing some contemporary songs, as well as some old hymns. It is a wonderful balance for everyone there. I see people that are young enjoying the music and I see very old people swaying to the hymns, but all in all, it is balanced. I feel like there are so many churches out there, some that we have visited, that tend to try and pull the younger population in by "secularizing" (this may be a made up word...not sure) their services. Loud music, rockin' out to more secular songs, sputtering "sermons" that you just need to feel good about yourself for being at church and not throw too much Jesus talk in there, so as to not offend some people. I am sorry, but to me, that is not church. Taking all the crosses out of sight, not really talking about Jesus, taking all religion out of the whole "church" experience doesn't sit well with me. I want to go to church and listen to a flowing sermon full of scriptures, speak to me about Jesus, who He was, who He is and who we want to emulate. Don't teach the children to persevere or how to love one another, teach them bible stories and have VBS and let them hear the stories of the bible that could influence their life someday. I yearn for that type of church experience and have found it. Have handbells ringing in the welcome area as you come to Christmas service and have the full choir up there singing praise to the Holy God and the resurrected Christ on Easter. Don't take all those things out of our churches, because while you may be trying to pull in the non-believers, you are inevitably shooing away and spitting in the face of the believers that have called these churches home for many years. It has to stop!
Sorry for my soapbox ramblings, I am getting tired and when that happens, I tend to go off on tangents.
This is a year for change in our family. We are at a new church, and starting to get involved. We are building a house and closing sometime in April, we are seriously contemplating pulling Cameron out of public school to go to either Christian Prep HS or homeschool online through a Christian based homeschool. Shane is looking at changing jobs at some point, I am finally getting back into my own career in real estate. We are getting serious about our health and focusing on our exercise and healthy living. Mentally, I had to go through and delete people in my life that either are not my true friends, or have shunned me for some reason or another. I have to delete the poisonous toxic people that rot my mind and spew forth their garbage in my life. I have no time to deal with people and their drama, nor do I want to take part in it or be reminded of it day in and day out. I have wiped most of the people we used to attend church with. I have to fully cut ties or else be reminded of the fact that we can't go back to the way things were. I kept only those people who have made it known that they truly care about me and my family. Acquaintences went away. I may be called immature or childish behind my back, but that is fine. I don't have anything to be ashamed of. I am not running away, I am stepping forward into the light and letting God tell me where He wants me to go.
My goal for this year, is to pray harder, and more often. To focus on God more. To get my spiritual life back to where it was over a year ago. The tears have dried and the future is upon us, so it is time to step out of the darkness and let God back in in full force! Praise be to God for all things in this world and for giving me a renewed spirit in Him. I pray for all my fellow Christians out there that have been in the darkness in the last year and for the ones that have had a renewal of spirit in the last year. I pray that God will heal you of your sorrows, and that you will praise Him in good times. Pray hard and pray often. Pray for your pastor and his family. Pray for your coworkers and boss. Pray for your country and the people running it. PRAY PRAY PRAY!
Let me close my blog tonight by saying this: Please remember that this is my personal blog, and I openly share these thoughts with you. If you don't like what I have said, please know that these opinions are just that: opinions. I gladly hear other people's opinions on their blogs and whether or not I agree doesn't matter. What matters is that we all are different and we all have opinions and this being my blog, it is my opinion that gets posted here. Feel free to comment if you want to tell me your thoughts. I have no problem sharing my feelings if you want to discuss.
Happy 2011 everyone! May God guide your heart this year.
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