Homemaker......by choice.

I have spent the last 15 years searching for who I am. I have went from a swim instructor/lifeguard, realtor, substitute teacher, instructional assistant, deli shop worker, sales assistant for a home builder, color guard instructor, etc etc etc. I have held many part time jobs to help pay bills. I have been a substitute teacher for the longest time. That has been my favorite job and I still enjoy it to this day. I have spent time researching going back to school and being a teacher. I have been enrolled in school to be a chef, elementary teacher, preschool teacher, child psychology, etc. Money for school has always been an issue and we decided that Shane would go to school first and get his degree while I raised Cameron. I figured as soon as Cameron got old enough to be in high school, I would go to school, get a "career" and start a full time gig somewhere and by the time he graduated, I would be well on my way of starting a career, albeit a little later in life than I anticipated, but a career nonetheless.

 However, after all the research, all the hours put in to get enrolled, all the time spent working part time to save up, it never came to fruition. Something always caused me to have to delay and put on hold and not go through with it. I have felt disappointed, sad, unhappy and relieved. I have felt like people look down on me for not being a college graduate, for not having an education past high school. I have known people that did look down on me and believe that I am stupid due to the fact that I don't have an education beyond high school. I have spent a lot of time believing this to be true due to the media and hype surrounding having a college degree. However, after a lot of soul searching, praying and crying, I have determined that I am not stupid by any means. I am no worse off than anyone out there with a college degree. I have a lot of knowledge that most people don't realize due to reading medical encyclopedias and dictionaries when I was younger. I am an avid reader and spend a lot of time reading. I have learned a lot by reading. I am a spelling champ from way back and pride myself on being intelligent.

Yes I had my son at 17, yes I got married my senior year of high school, yes I spent the majority of my young adult life with my son. Yes I have spent a lot of time jumping from part time job to part time job. But while I had a lot going on, I graduated high school with a baby, I got married very young and have a very happy marriage, we have struggled with money, we have struggled with things going awry in our life and have come out of it better off. We have both worked our rear ends off to become what we are today. Shane has worked a full time job, a part time job and going to school full time to get where he is today. I have worked part time while maintaining a home and raising a son without the help of daycare while helping put my husband through college. We may not have done things the traditional way, but we have made it work. It has been hard and there have been a lot of tears along the way, but we have made it and I think fared pretty good.

Recently, after having gone through another college enrollment only to be disappointed by not getting any student loans to continue, Shane asked me why I wanted to go to school. Hmmm, never thought about it before. I guess because that's what you are supposed to do. Graduate high school, go to college, get a job, get married, have kids. Of course, I went at things a little backwards and got married, had a kid, graduated high school, worked and then decided to go to college. But after thinking about it for a few months, I realized that all the time I have spent at home with Cameron, being a stay at home mom and homemaker, have been the best years. I spent the first 5 years in full time mommy mode, complete with teaching Cameron phonics at age 2, how to read at 3, add and subtract at 4 and everything in between. We spent our days at home, playing school, playing toys, watching veggietales. It was a blast. When he went to school full time he still needed me. As he got older and now in high school, I am needed far less. I guess I felt like it was time for me to be a career woman. I am not a business person, I don't like office settings, I don't like the workaday world. I hate office drama. I don't like getting up every day and getting dressed up and being uncomfortable. I like getting up, getting breakfast made for my boys, making sure everyone is ready for their day, and then being able to watch I Love Lucy for a little while and then getting on with my day of cleaning and cooking and gardening. It helps that I have my house now. I have a yard to work in, and I can take pride in my home. I enjoy spending the days at home, on my time getting things done and checking them off my list. Cooking good organic, homemade food for my family.

It is now that I realize that some women are just meant to be at home. I am a homemaker, a housewife and a mom. This is what I was meant to be. This is what God made me to be. To take care of my family and home. Before the women's movement, almost all women stayed at home. They cooked and cared for their families and did so happily. They only worked when it was absolutely necessary. When they were finished raising their kids, they went to being housewives. Cooking, cleaning and keeping the house up. There is nothing wrong with that. I think more women should do this. I know it's hard in this two income world, but it is possible. Too many people are trying to keep up with the Joneses and that forces both parents/spouses to work to make ends meet. I don't think there's anything wrong with working moms or working women, but I think there is also nothing wrong with being a homemaker. People tend to look down at homemakers, deeming them lazy or spoiled. I disagree with this wholeheartedly. I read a lot of homemaker blogs to get ideas and recipes for homemade food, and there are more of us out there than I thought. I am not alone. While I hear negative comments from some people, Shane and Cameron are nothing but positive about me being at home and I get no issues from them. People who are negative are probably like that because deep down inside they wish they could  be in my position. Due to life, a lot of women can't. I am blessed beyond belief that I had a husband that insisted I stay at home and raise our son. I am blessed beyond belief that I have a husband that tells me that he loves the fact that I stay at home and take care of the home, get our son where he needs to be and take care of the finances. We are beyond blessed to be able to live off of Shane's income comfortably so that I can stay at home and be a homemaker.

So, in a long roundabout way, all of this to say. I am a homemaker....by choice. And I couldn't be happier.

10,000 Reasons

I had the pleasure of hearing Matt Redman's song 10,000 Reasons a few weeks ago in church. I didn't really pay attention to it at the time because it was a new song to me and I was trying to figure it out while we were all singing. Shane fell in love with it and now we have the cd. I sat down and listened to it and it broke me down to my knees so fast I didn't know what was happening. Tears welled up in my eyes and I was praising God. The words are so simple, but the part that gets me every time is the part in the last verse that says:

"And on that day when my strength is failing,
the end draws near and my time has come
soon my soul will sing your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more."

Brings chills to me to type it. To think that someday, we will get to just be wrapped in light forever praising God. I can't think of anything that sounds more beautiful and wonderful.

It's been a long time since I have felt a part of a church. We go to College Park, and they run about 3800 people a week in services. It's massive. The biggest church we have ever attended. There has been a hesitant nature to get involved there. But, a couple weeks ago I jumped in and volunteered to help change out the bulletin boards for the nursery and sunday school classrooms between the last Sunday and the first Sunday of the month. And help with cutting out flannel board cutouts. Something I can kind of ease into and not have to be up front and center. I ccan just do it on my own time. I am looking forward to starting this at the end of September. This is my way of getting involved, just a little bit. I have been thinking about going through the membership classes, but have been hesitant still, thinking that we aren't meant to be here for the long haul, just a stopover to a new home. But the more we visit other places and come back to CPC, it makes us realize that maybe this is where we belong. Maybe it's time to get in it more and meet some more people. Get into a small group or membership classes. Only time will tell....but I think this is the place we could be calling home for a long while. :)

So, anyway, Matt Redman has a winner with this song, that is for sure. I could listen to it over and over again. Keep on writing beautiful music Matt!

God is so good to us. Thank Him for all you have.

Lots of craziness going on here lately!

First topic: When organic eating ends up making you a food snob.

If you read my blog a few weeks ago, you will remember me talking about going all natural eating whole foods and not eating processed foods anymore, right?

Well, let me bring you up to speed. :) The process has been a little slower to get everything out of the pantry than I first envisioned, but we are almost there! We have been eating a lot of organic food the last few weeks and I will tell you this. I feel amazingly better when I eat organic all day. And I can tell the most difference when I am out and eat something not organic and end up running home to get the tums! It literally turns my stomach and it just doesn't taste good anymore. Seriously. I am experimenting with new grains I have never eaten before, new sweeteners I never knew existed. I recently made a cheesecake made with organic yogurt (mostly because I needed to use the yogurt) and it turned out okay. It was different, but it tasted fine. I recently bought sucanat. If you don't know what it is, think unrefined organic pure sugar cane juice that is dried or evaporated. It is funny looking, being a brownish color and looking like small little pebbles, but the taste is great! It sweetens like sugar but doesn't cause the highs and lows in your glucose readings like white refined sugar does. It is great.

Something else I find myself liking better is dairy products. I have never been a big milk drinker. I put it on cereal sometimes and pour it out when the cereal is gone. I drink chocolate milk very seldom and have an all around dislike for milk. However, we bought organic skim milk and it tastes totally different! Even Cameron and Shane (my two big milk drinkers) have noticed a difference in taste when they drink milk at my parents' house (kroger skim) vs. our organic milk. i actually don't mind drinking a little bit of it. Milk has a chemical taste to me. Not sure why, but it does. Now the organic milk tastes pure and doesn't have that weird chemical taste to it.

This has inevitably made us all food snobs. We talk in "organic talk" and people automatically think we are loaded with money because we shop at the whole foods market. Let me tell you, not rich. Not even close. But eating organically is a lifestyle change and by doing so, we have reduced the amount of restaurant visits, which equals out to make up the difference in price to eat organically. So if it makes me a food snob that I will only drink organic milk, then food snob it is. :)

So, all is going well on the eating better homefront and we all three feel better and have noticed a little change in the scales. :)

Next topic: The Creation Museum.

Oh my goodness! What a wonderful God filled place for people to go and experience the truth! It was wonderful seeing the creation story brought to life and the differences in what man says vs what God says about creation, life and things around us. It really rekindled a fire in me that has been a little bit dimmer the last year or so. After things at our previous church went awry, and we felt led to leave the church to find a new home, things have kind of fizzled for me. I wanted to be involved again like we were before, then I felt scared to put myself out there again, scared of being rejected and pushed aside, which is how we felt before. So we have gone to a big church just to be hidden with no obligations, and be just a number. I have been feeling led to move on from there and find a new home with a smaller family that we can be a part of. But this whole time away from where we were before has felt like the time between Malachi and Matthew. There was a 400 year period of time where it seemed God was silent. Then came Jesus. I have felt like God has let us just be for a while and was quietly waiting for the right time for us to move on from this period of rest. Yesterday and today have relit that fire and now I am ready to move from this quiet time and burst through screaming His name wherever I go!!

I sit a lot of times in the quiet and feel God all around me. Holding me up, holding my hand, pushing me along when I don't want to go forward. His words flow over me like water when I open my bible to read. I sometimes close my eyes and try to think about what it was like so many years ago for Abraham, Joeseph, Moses, Joshua, King David, Jonah, Noah, the Disciples, Jesus and of course to be there when Mary was carrying our Lord. To put myself in that time and think how different life was then. To see what they saw, to feel what they felt. It amazes me.To be there when Moses parted the sea, when David took down Goliath, when Mary and Joeseph went to Bethlehem, when Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead, the crucifixion and resurrection. Wow!!

Next topic: Cameron starts driver's ed. EEK!

Yeah, I know. I am thinking exactly what you are thinking. Is he really old enough to be driving?!?! The answer is yes. He is. I look at him sometimes and see my little 3 year old running up to me with veggietales pajamas and teddy bear in hand wanting to play school. But in reality, my baby boy is getting older by the day and in just 3 short years, will be graduating high school and starting his adult life. Yikes! Doesn't seem like it has been 15 years. I am so very proud of the man he is growing up to be. I couldn't be more happy with who he is becoming. And I am looking forward to seeing this driving thing come to fruition. :) (mostly because I don't care to drive and he can drive and I can start to become Miss Daisy sitting in the back or passenger seat!)

So that's the craziness that is my life going on this summer. July will quickly coming to an end soon and August and the beginning of another school year will be creeping up before we know it. I am looking forward to adding another school to my subbing list. I go this coming week to discuss with them and tour the school! Yay! That's 3 schools to sub at. Between subbing and keeping our family eating organically and healthy, I am one busy chick! And I wouldn't have it any other way. ;)

Until next time....

Ch..Ch...Ch...Changes....

I have spent years trying to get my boys and I to eat healthier. I have bought fat-free foods, I have tried to get us to not eat out at restaurants as much, etc. It has been a struggle for all three of us.

Recently, I came across some blogs of homemakers that are truly being "homemakers". The stereotype of homemaker to me is staying at home, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house, the children, baking cookies and making the home run smoothly. Some have differing ideas, which is fine, that is mine. These homemakers are living exactly like I picture homemakers should. So I click on some of their posts and find myself immersed in recipes for foods I have cooked before, but I am reading words like "whole" "organic" and "homemade". I was in love at first sight!! I usually cook homemade meals, but with help. And by help, I mean instead of peeling potatoes, I buy instant. Instead of making my own pasta, I buy it at the store.

These women are posting about the hidden additives and preservatives in almost every single food at the grocery store. I went to the store and read the labels and there it was. Staring me in the face. Literally every single thing I buy at the grocery has some kind of additive in it to preserve it or add flavor. And the preservatives in these foods are just as bad! So I decided to do some research and "detox" my family of these awful chemicals that are in our food. I printed off recipes, I printed off tips and secrets of organic families. I have never been so serious about how I prepare our food before. This is serious. the side effects of the foods we are putting into our bodies is astounding! Just switching the sweetener you use can make a world of difference, especially if you have diabetes, or hypoglycemia. It was amazing to me how much we put into our bodies without even thinking about it!

I had all of my research ready and waiting when we left last week for vacation to Florida. We ate all the food we wanted while we were gone (mostly unhealthy and fatty food) and we all knew when we got home, it was time to purge the bad foods from our pantry and start making the switchover! Luckily, my boys are very excited about this adventure and even asked to help! I went to the Whole Foods Market yesterday to find alternative peanut butter for me. (I have been diagnosed with a nut allergy and cannot eat PB anymore, which is one of my favorite foods) I found soybutter, which ended up tasting exactly like peanut butter! Yay! But while I was there, I scoped out every aisle and everything they had at my disposal to buy for preparing whole, organic foods. It is wonderful! I won't have to be practically Amish with my days making everything scratch, there are some "convenience" foods I can buy if I am strapped for time, but for the most part, my days will be spent in the kitchen making healthy meals from scratch, without the use of chemicals and additives. It is time for us to live a healthy existence. I have failed my boys up to this point with the meals I have prepared them. I have failed them in the way I have fed them unhealthy foods from McDonald's or Wendy's or Pizza Hut. The time has come to make a change, and this is a change I can live with. No more whining about how fat we feel or how we hate the way we look, or whining because our stomachs are upset from the fatty, grease laden foods we have eaten. It is time to move on from that mentality and move to a healthy and happy food experience.

Last night, we all went to the Whole Foods Market to get some semolina to make pasta with, and my boys were in awe of the wonderful foods they had there! They thought they would never be able to eat a hamburger again! Or that they would never get to eat chips! I can make anything they want to eat, and if it is a last minute thing, Whole Foods Market has it all for me. So they were excited by all of it! They took the store in as we walked down the aisles together and ended up coming home, and all three of us working together to make pasta, homemade, organic pasta. It was awesome the teamwork! And on Saturdays, we decided would be "bread day" where we will all be working on baking bread, rolls, buns, etc. They are eager to help and I am eager to teach them. Whole Foods Market is going to be my new go to grocery store! Yay for health!

So while some people won't understand and think I am being a weird new age hippie, I assure you that I am just looking out for the health of my family. Nothing new age about it. If you think about your great grandparents, this is how they were cooking. Out of the garden, and wholesomely. My garden is going to be getting a lot bigger next year!! :)

Stay tuned for the results of our "chemical detox"!  :)

Life

So, it has been quite a while since my last post. I thought I would blog more, but as time breezes by me at an alarming rate, I find myself at the end of the day and not taking the time to write.

Over Spring Break, we went on a last minute trip with Shane to Arizona. He was supposed to fly out on Sunday, but his boss said he could drive with us all going, so on Thursday evening, we were booking hotels and planning our drive. We got to stop at a lot of neat places along the way. Places we have never been. We went to the Grand Canyon on our way back home. It was an awesome place. Scary as anything I have ever seen, but awesome. Definitely something everyone should see at least once.

The last few years I have contemplated going back to school to get my bachelor's degree. I have humhawed about for years and since Shane has a good job, and Cameron is quickly creeping up to college age, I decided it was now or never. So I picked myself up by the bootstraps and decided enough was enough. I am tired of settling for jobs that aren't fit for me. I loved being an instructional assistant before and a substitute teacher now. I have always wanted to be a teacher, so why not? I tried to get into a four year school, but because I have no prior college credits and poor math skills, I had to settle with Ivy Tech. Which is smarter as it is much cheaper alternative for me. I am going to get my associate's degree in early childhood education and then transfer to finish my bachelor's degree in elementary education. I went and took my assessment test and passed reading and writing with flying colors. Math, on the other hand...not so much. But, I can take some brush up classes in math and begin this crazy journey. I am officially enrolled in classes for the summer. Starting with 13 credit hours! Yikes!! But, with having a 15 year old who basically takes care of himself and has band all summer, plus not working in the summer, I can definitely make it.

Cameron turns 15 on Saturday, May 12. EEK! Where in the world has the last 15 years gone? I was looking at him the other day, taller than me, glasses on, hair cut, deep man voice, and all I could see was this little guy about 3 years old. Sitting in his bedroom with the big chalkboard easel, reading words I wrote, singing ABC's, reading books, reciting numbers, doing simple addition and subtraction. And then the reality sets in that he isn't this little boy anymore. He is growing into a man. He has been such a blessing to us. I thank God every day that He gave Shane and I this wonderful young man to raise. He is such a great kid. I know he's going to turn out to be such a wonderful adult.

Well, that is about it for us here at Frye corner. Until next time!

Crazy Game of Life

It's official! I am a student! I just got my acceptance letter and have signed up to take an assessment (eek!) and speak with my counselor! I have already talked to a four year college about transferring my associate's degree over when I finish and they are happy to accept me to finish up my bachelor's degree in Elementary Education! I am over the moon! God has been so good to us. I have prayed for his wisdom and guidance every step of the way. I have to leave a career behind, but I really feel like this is the path God has had planned for me all along. It just feels right. And by going this route, it is the absolute cheapest way to get a four year degree! Yay!

I should be able to begin the Summer 2012 semester and get moving on this adventure! Like I said, this girl is over the moon!!

Later!

The End of an Era.

Okay, so this is a different post than I would usually blog about. Today, the television show I have watched since I was 11 years old, is coming to an end. It is truly an end of an era. One Life To Live is a daytime soap opera. I typically wouldn't watch soaps, but my best friend when we were in middle school got me hooked and off and on through the last 21 years, I have watched this show. I literally grew up with a few of the actors and actresses, as they aged along with me and their drama that was going on was similar to my own drama I was living. I know it seems silly and childish, but I literally feel like these actors that invade my tv every afternoon are part of my family. Like I said, I have watched some of them grow up before my eyes. I have dvr'd OLTL for two years now and was able to watch every single day, whereas before, I would watch only when I was home or able to catch it at 2 o'clock.

The last two weeks have been filled with drama on the show as true to soap opera form. There have been people leave the fictional town of Llanview, and as their tears fall for their family member leaving town, tears fill my eyes as I watch them leave, knowing that like all the times people have left before and come back, there is no coming back. It is over. I have to accept that and move on. Nobody in my family understands. They think I am being completely overdramatic. I told Shane it is like if they took the NFL and said "we are taking this off and never showing and NFL football game again. Ever". What he doesn't get is, I don't watch a lot of tv. I don't like most shows. I get hooked on one thing and that's it for me. When the show I get hooked on goes off, oh well. But this is different. I have watched this show for most of my life. It has been on tv for 43 years!

But, life goes on. Now I have an extra hour in my day to get other things accomplished. So in closing, let me just say goodbye to all the people of my favorite fictional town of Llanview, PA. Goodbye, Vicki, CLint, Joey, Kevin, Chord, Tina, Jessica, Natalie, Ryder, Liam, John, Marcie, Al, Asa, Dorian, Kelly, Blair, Todd, Starr, Dani, Tea, Cassie, Jack, Sam, Victor, Addie, Brody, Nora, Bo, Matthew, David, Nigel, Roxy, Shane, Rex, Gigi, Cristian, Antonio, Will, Jen, and the brood of others that I have watched over the years. Goodbye to the end of an era.
Now excuse me while I wipe my tears...