You've got to be kidding me....

I have never gotten what I wanted. Ever. I was not the sterotypical only child, getting everything I wanted, being all selfish and self centered.

So when we got a mortgage pre aprroval back that said "Congratulations on your new home!" I was wondering where the candid camera people were hiding.

That easy? You've got to be kidding me!

7 years ago, we had a house. We were young and bought a house that was in our price range, but wasn't affordable. We couldn't afford it by any means and the repairs that needed done to it we weren't able to do. So when we found mold, it was devastating. The mold specialist came in and took a good couple hours to go through my house, top to bottom.

"You want the good news or the bad news?"

That's always what you want to hear....

"The good news is, it is fixable. The bad news is, it will cost you about 50k and you have to move out while we take your house down to a skeleton and start over."

We filed bankruptcy and foreclosed on our house. There was no way we could afford that, and even if we could've, it wasn't worth it in a 76k house.

Fast forward 7 years later and here we are. We have worked our rear ends off the last 7 years to make things right with our credit. It was very hard to do when Shane barely made enough to get us through, there wasn't a lot extra to save. He fell and broke his ankle right after we moved to Westfield and we had to live off of worker's comp. Even though I worked almost full time then, we couldn't make ends meet. We talked to banks and looked at our credit to see how much the points would go up or down. It was a long, slow process, but we finally got to where we need to be. Shane's credit is good enough to get a mortgage and mine isn't far behind. We heard the mortgage "experts" telling us, get credit cards, that's the fastest way to raise your score, but we refused, willing to wait to get a house rather than get credit cards and end up in a worse position.

Patience paid off. After 7 years, we are finally going to be able to buy a house. The house we always dreamed of.

I have always wanted to build a brand new house and now I get to! I wanted a ranch, with a front porch, 3 bed, 2 bath, fireplace, etc. Now, I get to have that dream!

Our home is called the Bradford. It is built by Arbor Homes. It has a front porch that we can sit chairs on and look out over the front yard. It has 3 bed, 2 bath and we have opted for the bonus room upstairs. We have a big kitchen that we are getting an island put in with three seats on the bar area (how perfect right? 3 seats for 3 Frye's!) I am also getting a wood burning fireplace. We got on a corner lot and it is close to the future amenities center and the woods. I couldn't ask for anything better. God is so good to us.

This comes at a time when I am still unsure. We have went back to our church home, but sometimes I feel like an outsider looking in. Some people won't even speak to me. Or making me feel guilty for having left to begin with. I feel like that is just a little immature on their part, but who am I to judge? While some have been warm and welcoming, I still feel like an outsider. I don't want to get involved right now at all, in fact, I signed up for an affinity group that I am not even sure I want to be a part of. I really just don't want to get involved right now in any capacity and this is getting involved in my book.

One thing I can be thankful for is not having to be involved in the student ministries. That was the area we were suppsed to be in charge of before we left, but somehow that got taken out of our hands. I was livid at first, because it didn't seem fair to Shane that something I did or said was taken out of context and he wouldn't get a chance to show Matt what he could do with the SM. It was my fault for trusting people with my feelings and now I know that things are better kept to myself. However, at this point, I am glad we aren't involved. I like Scott and think he is doing a good job with the kids. I am really glad to be free from responsibility. I don't have to sit at the church until all hours of the day and night waiting to lock up after everyone goes home or having to sit in the office and do nothing while Shane teaches. We can drop off Cameron, and then head off for a drive through the country, go get a milkshake or a car wash and then pick him up when they are finished. It is nice.

So anyway, I wonder in all this uncertainty in our life, how it is still possible for us to have this wonderful exciting thing happen to us? We were still faithful to God while we were not in our church home, but things were so awry and crazy for us and so unsure. But through all of this, God has still blessed us and given so much to be thankful for. Health, happiness, grace and forgiveness.

A bible study I am involved in with my MIL and SIL's has a five statement faith pledge. I am learning it and living it.
1 God is who He says He is
2. God can do what He says He can do
3. I can do all things through Christ
4. I am who God says I am
5. God is alive and active in me.

Instead of whining and complaining, start believing and receiving! Because I can tell you, the believing and receiving is so much better than the whining and complaining!

:)